insomniac

May 11, 2010 at 3:58 pm (Uncategorized)

(watching the clock

flick past the minutes)

1.02

am

she needs the bus times

I’ll look them up

or they will surely miss

like the time in Stratford

and I had to drive

even when I’d had half a glass

of vodka and coke

and why am I paying

for the damn insurance

when there are three people

using my car

I resent every penny

of the loan

to pay that solicitor

three months wages

for a single day

I will celebrate when I never

have to bother with him

ever

ever again

take cake to work

not that any of those blokes will understand

just blokes

but not

now I think of it

ex-husbands

1.17

am

have to think about

milk for the tea

no-one else remembers

and getting those boys

registered with a doctor

and her bank account to sort out

call mum

or the bad karma will catch up with me

is that our cat

fighting in the garden

time to get up soon

and I forgot the shoe polish

1.40

am

I wish

I know it’s silly

but one day

I wish

we might build our own place

and have breakfast together

instead of this

passing ships existence

maybe then he’ll tell me

I want a view of the sea

or the smell

at least

but what’s the use

2.08

am

what’s the use of promising

and then not bothering

only creates bad feeling

2.11

am

she cried down the phone

and it broke my heart

Jake in the dark

in the car

telling me secrets

I wish

I had stepped back from the brink

but try and imagine

what might have been instead

so sad

and so angry

I wish

it would all go away

sometimes

2.21

am

plans

buzzing round my head

making demands

imagine if

the letter might arrive

tomorrow

or next week

we could be all sorted by the summer

2.55

am

must put the bedding in the wash

in the morning

and write that poem

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4 Comments

  1. karen said,

    I’ve been insomniac for years, but never did I turn it into something so intriguing. Stories inside stories.

  2. Dominic said,

    What a good read! If Charles Bukowski had been a woman…

  3. Evalinn said,

    Been there, done that! Well written.

  4. Enchanted Oak said,

    Were you in my head last night? Guess not. I dont have such intriguing thoughts. This was masterful.

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