April 24, 2010 at 6:53 pm (Uncategorized) ()

he walks down here in the world

of rustling skirts and bumping shopping bags

a warm hand leads the way between towering racks

he follows curious and compliant

carefree and trusting to her

then momentarily distracted by sparkly trinkets

he stops to see his face in the huge mirror

and laugh

turning round he is suddenly alone

confused and forsaken

she was there then she was gone

corridors of clothing stretch away in all directions

his future flashes futile before his eyes

in a split second a cold panic grips

tears well up and a tight throat cracks his voice

the cry comes out a whimper

unfamiliar grown-ups scurry past unconcerned

another split second

she steps out from behind the ties

a smile, and warmth returns.

(Linking back to The Poetry Bus hosted by Argent at Delusions of Adequacy, this trip is leaving on Monday 26th April)



  1. karen said,

    The point of view gives this a sense of immediacy, and I’d wager we can all relate to that moment of panic when we lost the safety net that held us.

    I love the alliteration, too. It isn’t overdone, but it is effective.

    • crazyfieldmouse said,

      Thanks Karen, it’s nice to think someone notices that you have done something deliberately.

  2. Niamh said,

    This is lovely, I think we all have a memory of this happening somewhere along the way. Very nice

  3. Argent said,

    This perfectly captures the panic and sense of abandonment and I like the release of the happy ending.

  4. Dominic said,

    You get inside a child’s head: “his future flashes futile before his eyes”… Got me thinking how life loses meaning for a child when you remove the parent figures.

  5. Pete said,

    Yes, really struck a chord. I feel the same when I lose my wife in Dunnes.

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