caged wild cat

February 12, 2010 at 3:02 pm (Uncategorized) ()

I have read what he has written

but cannot take it in.

I want my brain to shut down

but instead it races,

full of things I do not want to think.

So I pace.

It  keeps the panic at bay somehow,

giving my body something to do.

From the kitchen,

it is tiny, so only three steps,

through the back room,

diagonally across,

past the bottom of the stairs,

into my bedroom,

which strangely occupies the front room,

then arriving at the front door,

my fingers meet the textured glass

where they rest for a split second,

and I then turn,

back past the stairs,

back through the back room

and back into the kitchen,

And then I turn,

again, and again.

(Thought process: I saw tabby cat on the way home from work, it reminded me of a Scottish Wild Cat we has seen at the otter sanctuary, where we saw some other animal, I can’t remember what it was now, pacing in the obsessive repetitive way that caged animals sometimes do, signifying some mental disturbance caused by their imprisonment, and I remembered doing the same thing, when the letter from the solicitor arrived containing my ex-husband’s court statement, that would eventually lead to him taking my children away. The thoughts connected so rapidly it was frightening, and I was transported right back to the way I felt in that moment.)

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1 Comment

  1. wordwand said,

    <thanks for the lovely poem.

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