valentine poem
the image haunts me unexpectedly
intermittently
when I catch sight of it
though it does not bring tears to my eyes
like the first time
a bruised child
trying to make sense of everything
gone wrong
a careless parody of teenage love-hearts
with names entwined
this one is broken
brutally torn apart
the words mum and dad
irreparably separated
Linking back to ‘The Poetry Bus’ driven this week by The Bug
Labour
Breathe and sweat,
and breathe and sweat
then relax and wait
nothing to do but wait.
Bright lights,
bare and clinical
alien smells and echoing noises
linger in your unconscious.
A groan comes up
from deep inside
your animal instincts
guide you through the shadows
of unfamiliar sensations.
Time stands still
hours flash by
but minutes drag
holding you in the moment
of each contraction.
The room around melts
into the background
nothing to look at
looking at nothing
concentrating hard on
the strength inside
to take the next one.
Pulsating blood
and contracting muscles
are all that matters now.
The pace intensifies
machines clatter
people gather
instructing, encouraging
you are surrounded
alone in a crowded room.
And just when you think
it is unbearable
that you are too exhausted
to go any further,
it is ended.
And begun.
For the Poetry Bus, driven this week by Pure Fiction, the prompt being to write about ‘transformation’. I went for momentous rather than simple.
Spot the difference
This week’s prompt on the Poetry Bus is to write about school. When I lay thinking about it last night I thought about just keeping my head down so as to avoid the temptation to make sarcastic comments about the nostalgic sentimental claptrap that is likely to be spouted by growups who’s memories have glossed over the harsh reality and think back to it as a time of freedom before the evils of wage labour. But the anger I continue to feel at the destruction of my daughter’s self-confidence and esteem during her time in school brought me back to the day she was allowed to leave (you can pop back here to one of my early Poetry Bus efforts to see how angry). We had just got back from spending £42 at the ‘uniform event’ because the new Head had decided to stamp her mark on the place by going back to the 1950′s, complete with blazers, ties, those knitted jumpers with the stripy trim … and knee length skirts.
An extra three inches of skirt
An extra three inches of skirt
will make us all better learners,
will increase our sense of belonging,
will be more ladylike, modest and demure.
Do that tie up
Tuck that shirt in
You’ll never pass your exams
dressed like that.
Go now
and remove that makeup,
we all know it hampers learning.
Take off
that badge
that necklace
that headscarf
You’re not here
to express your personality.
Cut your hair
Grow your hair
You can’t come in here
with hair like that
it’s provocative
and distracting to your classmates.
You are not here to make you mark
but to learn what’s what.
Homogeneity is the order of the day.
Those extra three inches of skirt
are so you know who’s in charge.
(My only consolation is that the kids still resist … I love to see the girls at the bus stop in their too short skirts, like two fingers to the system.) (And oh yes, my son was removed from class for shaving his head!)
In Marks and Spencer’s coffee shop
Still cagouled against the incessant rain outside
she tucks her capacious handbag between her feet
an umbrella and walking stick added encumbrances
beneath the tiny table.
She arranges the contents of her tray with precision:
scone first, sliced and meagerly buttered,
tea in the pot stirred then poured
the ritual neat and meticulous.
She drinks and eats, and nothing more,
no purchases to peruse
nor interest in her fellow patrons,
unremarkable and inoffensive,
but strangely out of place
amongst the affluent shoppers
with their beige linen jackets and
ostentatious jewellery.
She is still there as we leave
finished but sitting,
£3.50,
the price of a seat in the warm and dry.
Stop all the clocks
This week’s poetry bus challenge offered several options and I sat musing about what is the first thing I experience when I wake up, or rather am woken up by my alarm, and it led me off at a bit of a tangent. The first line of Auden’s poem came into my head and became the title.
Stop all the clocks, shut off that incessant din
deliberately jarring to the dormant nerves,
like an infant’s urgent cry,
and dragging from the depths of sleep
reluctant slaves to time.
Curse the man who came up with the notion
that we should abandon natural rhythms
of waking when rested and sleeping when tired,
but instead be bound to mechanical devices
that count and dictate
our comings and goings
our ups and downs
our eatings and sleeping.
Curse that luminescent green
flashing from the corner in the dark
demanding your attention
smugly judging you for the dissipation of your life
as you try in vain
to cling to the vestiges of that haven
sleep.
your cigarette
Missed a few weeks on the bus, some interesting voyages, that I had ideas for but not the time to put into words (or pictures as it turned out). This week we journey with Delusions of Adequacy, with two possible prompts, to be funny or poignant, not sure I have managed either.
we stand
all of us
cups of tea in hand
chatting in the yard
waiting for the second van
telling bad jokes
sometimes they kick an old football
back and forth
like kids in the playground
it’s all just casual
but I position myself
next to you
your voice vibrates
in my head
the scent of you
sets my nerves on edge
and I catch a trace of your smoke
from your lungs into mine
it is
intoxicating
Signs
The Poetry Bus this week is feeding the pixies where the challenge is to folow, or alternatively not follow, or reinterpret, a sign, and see where it took you. The idea immediately brought to mind the Robert Frost poem The Road Not Taken (which apparently he come to dislike because it was so popular and always requested at readings), the idea that paths that you take have unforeseen and unpredictable consequences. This was my choice yesterday evening, we followed a familiar route and the signal dictated the consequences, sometimes even small consequences matter.
Signal Down
we take the footpath to the old stone bridge
crossing the railway by the sheep field.
looking along the straight empty track
you notice the signal is down
a train is on it’s way
so we wait to see it pass,
and while we wait
we kiss
like teenagers
up against the stone parapet
in the evening sunshine
and I find I had forgotten
amongst the mundane routines of life
this perfect pleasure
the warmth and taste of you
with a delicious thrill
of potential discovery.
this quiet path
overgrown
leading nowhere very much
takes us where we need to go.
Jesus Haiku
The Poetry Bus driven this week by Kat at Poetikat’s Invisible Keepsakes, visit for more thoughts on the destruction this week of a rather bizarre statue. Mine is an instinctive gut reaction.
Abomination
gone in a conflagration
God has taste after all
childhood daisy chains
This week’s challenge for the Poetry Bus was to write on the more general category of ‘flora/fauna’, which I suppose left it wide open for people to do what took their fancy, though nicely in keeping with the season. We have been cutting the grass this week so I was thinking of times when I was young and always feeling annoyed at my dad for cutting the grass and chopping down all the daisies. So here is my offering, and a homage to Gerard Manley Hopkins ‘Binsey Poplars’, of which I am very fond.
Daisy chain
Daisies, only yesterday scattered across
the lush expanse of un-mowed lawn
All chopped, chopped, are all chopped
their petals heaped amongst the verdant mulch
not spared, not one
for small girl to frolic in fancy and
festoon herself a fairy queen.
O if he but knew what he did
when he mowed and trimmed
cut down those fragile blossoms
the dreams of childhood
so transient, in wild abandon
she who bedecked with garlands
would dance among the saplings
now stands forlorn.
After-comers cannot guess the beauty
that might have been
the spinning blade wipes clean
makes neat, pristine
Daisy chain, a daisy chain
sweet delicate daisy chain
what is the what
We had a very interesting challenge for this week’s Poetry Bus (visit here for more passengers); to take a sentence (at random or specially chosen), remove half, create new endings and then play about with the ideas that came from it. I started trawling through quotations looking for something clever. Then I looked at famous opening lines of books, still nothing. So I picked up the book I had recently started reading, it is called ‘What is the What’ by Dave Eggers and took the opening sentence, as soon as I read it I felt it had interesting possibilities. The sentence I started with is “I have no reason not to answer the door so I answer the door”.
I have no reason not to answer the door
I have no reason not to answer the door
even though it is late
and I had been waiting
my fingers pause at the latch
and I am scared.
I have no reason not to answer the door
where two shadowy figures
one tall
made taller by his hat
are visible through the frosted glass
waiting impassively.
I have no reason not to answer the door
but in that pause
in the silence of the hall
I can hear the rush of my own breathing
and the blood pounding in my ears.
I have no reason not to answer the door
that stands firm and solid
between me
and the world outside
but I take a step away.
I have no reason not to answer the door
through which I can hear
the scuffle of their boots in the gravel
and the muted murmur of conversation.
I have no reason not to answer the door
except something urgent tells me
I should stay here and now
on this side
in this suspended moment
before
I have no reason not to answer the door
but something hovers outside
waiting
I have no reason not to answer the door
when they knock again
it feels impolite
to keep them
waiting
I have no reason not to answer the door
so I breath again
reach up
and grip the handle firmly
I have no reason not to answer the door
so I answer the door.
